Day 10 - Positives and Perspective

So it is true. I had heard from others that my skin would feel softer, supple, and sensitive from the sea minerals, sun and pseudocatalase. Yes, it's true.

I like the phrase, "it gets worse before it gets better." I think it applies to surgeries and really, a lot of things. It tangentially applies to my situation. I say "worse" just because I look darker in my non-vitiligo areas, which makes my spots stand out even more. So some might say it doesn't help, but it's part of the process. I've even discovered a few that I wasn't aware of because they blended it well into my then paler complexion.

There are a number of unexpected benefits from vitiligo that I can attest to. Certainly, there are some not positives from this experience, but it's important to consider both sides of the stories as much as it is possible.

1. Affirmation of my uniqueness. I think people are afraid to be unique amidst culturally defined expectations. This is a visible reminder of that. It reminds me of X-Men a little bit and how they struggled to gain acceptance when in reality, it was a good thing they were not not X-Men.

2. It makes you less judgmental towards others. It's well accepted that people make snap judgments about others based solely on their appearance. Physically, how we look, is a big part of who we are. And it usually takes time for people to see beyond the outer appearance. It definitely makes me less judgmental of others' appearances. What is more important is who the person is, the spirit or soul that drives himself/herself. It's what people can't see but what I can see a little better now.

3. Increased compassion/empathy. One of my friends said, "we all have a little vitiligo in us but the difference is that I can see yours." People with vitiligo can't help but understand those that are physically marginalized better because there are some shared human experiences. On a side note, I just saw the French movie "Intouchables." Great movie. It's not so much that it paints the handicapped main character as a hero, but instead, provides an awareness and education component that is often extremely difficult to have the courage to take on. Most people don't want to talk about it.

4. Weeds out good/bad people. It's amazing how quickly you can filter out people based on their reaction to something like vitiligo. Some are genuinely interested, some art, and some are extremely judgemental. It's hard to say that it's a person's fault as I believe it is mainly a product of their upbringing. Instead, I think it's important to re-shape their environment by adding another data point to their experience for future reference with others. Obviously, everyone has their own journey.

5. Helps me value my identity beyond my looks. This is ultimately a good thing and rests much on one's value system. No matter how good-looking, ugly, overweight or underweight you might be (relative to a culture's defined standards), those things change and it's better to invest time, energy, and weight on who you are rather than what you look like.

6. It's connected me with so many good people. This is probably the biggest positive out of everything. I've met some of the most amazing people and some of my personal heroes through this. Without this, there would have been no way I would have been able to connect with these people and to learn about everyone's stories. 

7. An appreciation for the functionality and limits of the human body. Nobody's entitled to "good health." And through learning more about the human body, its pathways, cellular signaling, etc. I'm amazed more and more at this complicated machine that chugs along each day. It's amazing and I'm grateful for everything that works well and those who are studying why things don't work properly.

8. It's given me a platform to reach others. Just being a regular Joe is good but also boring. Now, all of a sudden, I have a voice where people in similar situations or doctors are genuinely interested in the things that I have to say. I can do more good than the previous good I could have done before. It's both a privilege and a responsibility.

Despite the cliche, it's truly not what happens to us that defines us, but how we respond and what perspective we take.